The Editors
If you two are broken up, you are not obligated to do anything for him on Valentine’s Day or any other day. You owe him nothing and from what you have told us, you do not have any lingering feelings for him that would lead to getting him something for Valentine’s Day. If you really do not want him to surprise you, tell him how you feel! Try to be polite but firm in your position. Do not let him sway you unless you, and only you, really do want to change your mind and will not regret your decision later. Let him know that your feelings toward him have changed since you were dating, and make sure he understands that there is no chance of the two of you becoming a couple again.
If he does get you a
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gift for Valentines Day, you can refuse it—unless it’s chocolate. If it’s chocolate, take it and eat it. Who doesn’t love free chocolate? If he does end up getting you something more meaningful though, you have no control over that. You can either say “thank you” or “no, thank you” if he gives a gift to you. It is not always necessary to reciprocate gift-giving, especially when the person is your ex. Remember you are under no obligation to this boy. The two of you are broken up and now live separate lives; he must learn to respect this.