Editor#125
Before helping you with your parental dilemma, I want to discuss the “virus” you mentioned. If you are referring to the notorious senioritis, it is a common misconception that grades in the second semester of senior year don’t matter, and thus people slack off. Though it is true that the difference between an A and a B in a class is not going to cause any serious harm, students must be careful as to how much they slack off. Failing classes may lead to an insufficient amount of credits, which means no graduation. Although many schools, including the UCs, do not usually require admitted students to submit second semester grades, they do if a student receives a D or F in a class. In addition, the slippage of grades may also result in the loss of scholarship money and even the repeal of acceptances from colleges. In order to avoid any detrimental outcomes, it would greatly behoove seniors to push through the last few months of school and maintain academic excellence. With that in mind, I greatly encourage you to make sure your grades remain acceptable.
Now, regarding the situation with your parents. It seems like you desire to be independent and want to be treated like an adult. The best way to accomplish this is to get your parents to trust you. When parents have confidence in their kids, they allow their kids to get away with more than if they didn’t trust them. In other words, they provide more second chances. Keep in mind, however, that trust is very hard to rebuild once it is broken. If your parents don’t trust you they will crack down and treat you like a child. However, if you know for a fact that they do trust you and still treat you like a seven year old, you need to have a talk with them and calmly express your frustration. I would suggest doing things to prove that you are fully capable of acting like an adult; you need to prove that you can make decisions on your own. To do this, keep in mind that acting rebellious will not help you in any way. Refuse this temptation because it will only make you seem immature and your parents will not feel comfortable giving you space to solve your own problems. Instead, they will feel that it is their responsibility to look after you more. In addition, don’t go behind their backs and do things you know they will disapprove of because when you are caught, you will further destroy the trust between you and your parents. I also suggest avoiding conflict because it can make you seem childish. Do not lie, we tend to forget the details about the lies we tell and may end up contradicting ourselves in the future. Lastly, being able to compromise will portray you as someone who doesn’t always need things to be done your way.
This does not mean that you must be perfect; you just have to make wise decisions. One great first step would be to improve your grades. Doing this on your own will make it appear as if you don’t need to be bothered in order to fix things. Ask your parents to give you a few weeks to make an improvement, and if you actually do this, they will see that you can be independent. But don’t stop there, go above and beyond and tell them that you were able to do so because they trusted you to handle it on your own. Be careful since this can backfire. If you don’t work to get your grades up, you might as well wear a shirt that says “don’t trust me” and beg them to monitor you excessively. Do whatever it takes to prove that you can solve your own problems and that you can keep your word. This is also true of things that do not involve grades. If you want to ask them for something, clean your room or finish all your chores beforehand so that they understand you know what your responsibilities are without them telling you.
Above all, keep in mind that no matter what, they are your parents and you must show them respect. They have experienced this world more than you have and you need to remember that they may be protecting you from something they experienced. This is where a long conversation is necessary so you can understand where they are coming from and so they can realize that they are smothering you.