Editor #19
Though it may not seem like it, your friend is actually acting like a friend within her definition of a working friendship. Your friend views your bond as an introvert-extrovert relationship; you are the “good listener” and she is the “good talker.” To her, the friendship revolves around her pouring out her thoughts and feelings and you listening to and agreeing with her comments about her life. She is probably someone who can be described as controlling, self-conscious and even anxious. Whenever you try to interject stories about your life into the conservation, she views this as a challenge to her role as the “good talker”; therefore, she subconsciously views the situation as a competition and is compelled to overpower your stories with her own.
Multiple insecurities and self-esteem issues can be what causes her to talk over you because she possesses a hunger for attention that she cannot seem to satisfy. Repeating stories and situations to her friends is her way of drawing the spotlight onto herself. These types of people need someone to console them and listen to them. If she is insecure, it could be that she has become selfish and is neglecting the people around her without realizing it. Her constant desire to feel important makes her become blind to everything else. If this is the case for your friend, then you have to understand that she does not mean to hurt you. This situation could be irritating for you, but please keep in mind that insecure people are always hurting on the inside and receiving pity from others may be comforting.
Your friend is not trying to use your friendship to her advantage or neglect your feelings altogether. She needs you and depends on you to reassure her and give her advice. Your friendship is like the concept of Yin and Yang; you two have contrasting personalities, reserved versus imposing, which together complete each other. You won’t be able to change her personality at the moment; only she can do this. Just know that as long as you are getting something from the friendship, such as loyalty or a shoulder to lean on during tough situations, your friendship is heading in the right direction.