Editor # 33
A lot of us have that one friend whose favorite sound is his or her own voice. I understand your position whole-heartedly because it is completely relatable. All in all, this is a matter of clashing personalities. Do not blame your friend’s habits on yourself. You need to look back on how and why you two became friends in the first place, and assess whether her lack of listening has worsened as your friendship developed. Whatever is causing your friend to act the way she does probably has less to do with you and more to do with her own insecurities.
If you are the only person she trusts with her personal problems, you can feel honored that your friend confides in you. Sometimes the people who have more to say seek out the reserved ones like you because your lack of outward expression looks like an open invitation. She probably feels like she does not have to compete with you for “Most Words Said,” or she does not have to prove herself to you. However, if you notice that she pours out her problems and drama on everyone else, then it is probably just a part of her personality. This may console you to know that you are not the only one who has to listen to her.
Unless there is a very good reason why you are friends with this girl, I do not see the point in perpetuating your frustration. Work on building friendships with other people that you like to be around, people who give you the attention that you give them. Holding in your grievances about your friend is definitely a smart move, but not when it reaches the point where your voice is a whisper next to her scream. You have tried telling her about her behavior, but that is difficult considering it involves her being verbal and making false promises.
Next time you catch your friend in the act of stealing your story time, you could have fun with it instead of getting frustrated. Ask her playfully and with a smile, “Hey, I thought I saw my story a second ago. Do you happen to know where it went?” You have had plenty of practice being patient with her, so you could be good at this. Depending on how well she handles humor, she might understand your point. If she responds positively and it starts to have an effect, then perhaps doing this more than once can slowly guide her to better listening skills.