PROM: Here’s why it is great and also why I am not going.
By Malik Alexander, Staff Writer
When I first think of prom, I think of girls. Girls debating about what dress to buy. Girls debating whether they should go in a limo or a party bus, and of course, “Jake’s ‘promposal’ was so cutttteee!” But, what about Jake? Guys do go to prom, and we still have the same worries and concerns as the girls.
Let’s start with the most important decision. Should I go stag with the bros or should I take a date? While the girls eagerly wait for the promposal, we guys do not have such a luxury. It is the foregone conclusion that the guy will ask the girl. We are the ones that must stress over whether or not the girl will even say “yes.” Does she like flowers? What girl doesn’t like flowers? What about balloons? If so, what color balloons? How many balloons? Should I just get a sign that says “PROM?” No, too cliche. After weeks of preparation and stress, you walk to fourth period; you see half the guys on the swim team with speedos spelling out “PROM?” on the groin. For guys in a relationship, “yes” is simply a formality, but those “single and ready to mingle” cannot always expect a “yes” with open arms, smiles, and cheers. After surveying 100 highschools nationwide, statisticsbrain.org found that 37 percent of prom proposals are declined. Nevertheless, this shouldn’t stop you from taking the risk of asking your best friend, that girl you talk to everyday in third period, or even that really cute girl on the cheer team.
Now that she said “yes,” you have to go tux shopping. Don’t think you’re going to just walk in there and say “Can I have a tux?” and the store employee will pull out a perfect fitting suit and hand it to you free of charge. Now we may not be buying those four-digit priced dresses your date may have bought, but tuxes are no 50 dollar find. CBS News interviewed 200 prom attendees and found that the average tux rental (not even talking about purchasing, which is far more expensive) is anywhere between 150 and 200 dollars. Saying “yes” also means saying yes to that salmon colored dress. Expect to be matching, so, finding that same off-pink colored shirt, tie, or vest may not be an easy search.
Chivalry is not dead, especially when it comes time to pay. Taught since birth that “the girl never pays”? Don’t think prom is excluded. Prom tickets are 70 dollars a pop, times that by two, and you now will be 140 dollars poorer—or at least your parents will be.
Limo or party bus? Gather your 20 closest pals and their dates and squeeze into that stripper poled, purple fluorescent glowing party bus. Do you hear that? It’s the sound of the limo company’s cash register opening. The average 20-person limousine costs anywhere between 100 and 300 dollars an hour, according to limos.com. If you do the math, you are still looking at anywhere from 45 to 90 dollars per person. Don’t forget that “the girls never pay.”
Now, don’t think I’m some anti-chivalrous, new age meninist. I am simply stating truths; prom is a pretty penny, and for the boy, prom can be stressful.
What are those flower bracelet things called? Yes, corsages. Guys, don’t wait until the last minute to find that pink corsage. There are about 20 different proms all around the same time with 100 different girls wearing the same pink dress. Call ahead at least 2 weeks before the date. You can’t just walk into the Vons floral section and find a corsage the day of. As for the ladies, boutonnières have a needle on the end, and if you stab us, it will hurt.
Prom has come. You go to your date’s house, and her dad stands in the doorway, with a grin to scare. Now we have to stand in different positions in different locations for about 30 minutes to capture memories for your date’s and your crying mom. The good-old-fashioned “hug on hips” pose is to be expected. After 260 pictures later, the limo has arrived after already having picked up every other couple plus [insert the names of single friends that didn’t get a date for prom]. And the night begins.
Getting out of the limo, you see all of your friends standing in that long line to get frisked up like you’re at LAX by campus aides. You join them, and you notice that grunge girl from your Brit Lit class looking like Cinderella at the ball. You’re in; the dancing has already begun and your date is ready to get “lit.” You check in your coat with the freshman slaves of ASB, and your date takes off her shoes because those six-inch heels she was wearing are by no means dance appropriate. You’re on the dance floor, hoping for just your basic homecoming grind train. To your surprise, you see people actually dancing. Oh no! You can’t dance—unless you count all those hours you stacked up on Just Dance. You’re hoping they play “Cha Cha Slide” by DJ Casper, that rapper dude, so you don’t have to actually dance in front of your date and/or the rest of your peers. “Thinking Out Loud” by Ed Sheeran comes on, and all the couples get into position. This is what you’ve been waiting for. While the girls have been dreaming for this moment all of high school, we guys, believe it or not, can’t wait to hold our girl and slow dance to a song by a British redhead. Looking into your date’s eyes, you know all the stress and worry of prom was worth it.