CONSPIRACY: This election cycle, conservatives have resorted to gratuitous conspiracy theories to discredit facts that may jeopardize a Republican win.
By Kayla Chang, Copy Editor
Do you remember the series of borderline (by which I mean pretty blatantly) racist conspiracy theories that emerged about four years ago? The ones that questioned President Barack Obama’s birth certificate and speculated that he was born in Kenya and was a secret Muslim who studied the Quran at a Muslim school in Indonesia?
Well, it seemed at first like some sort of temper tantrum in response to a lost election—a petulant reaction from petulant people who aren’t used to sharing. But these asinine charges were never dropped, and many in the Republican Party still see President Obama as the beating heart of a vast, sinister organism that pervades the nation, sheathing the truth in a veneer of liberal propaganda.
When the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) recently reported that the unemployment rate had fallen to 7.8 percent, the lowest it’s been since January 2009, right-wing political pundits almost immediately accused the BLS of “cooking” the numbers in order to shed positive light on the Obama administration a month before the election.
The BLS, along with institutions such as the Census Bureau, the Federal Reserve and the Congressional Budget, are nonpartisan and are framed so as to shield themselves against political pressure and manipulation. The charge was baseless and thus, discredited. There’s no conspiracy here.
And even if there is, and the BLS really is training their statistics to follow President Obama around by laying out a trail of dog treats at his heels, then where was the storm of conspiracy theories back in January, when the BLS reported that there are 1.7 million fewer jobs now than when Obama took office? It seems that to Republicans, facts are facts only when it’s convenient.
This same mentality led prominent conservatives last month to accuse independent pollsters of “skewing” the polls to show Obama ahead. But, again, no word from them now that Mitt Romney has shown improvement in the polls following a strong debate performance.
Republicans have apparently made a hobby out of discrediting important nonpolitical institutions. Desperate times now call for the rejection of objective reality. People are making unfounded claims based on nothing but a gut feeling, much in the manner of Senator Joseph McCarthy. (Ah, well, I’m sure things turned out fine for him.)
Of course, not all Republicans are insane conspiracy theorists; those who are tend to be more conservative, less politically involved and less educated. Paranoia and cynicism are, after all, born of ignorance. But just to level the playing field, let me propose a few equally outlandish theories about the Republican Party.
Republican Representative Paul C. Broun, Jr. thinks that Planet Earth is only 9,000 years old and that evolution and embryology are “lies straight from the pit of Hell.” Republican Representative Todd Akin believes victims of “legitimate rape” can’t get pregnant and that doctors are giving abortions to women who aren’t actually (legitimately, that is) pregnant. (I mean, what does he think doctors are doing with their vacuums up in a woman’s uterus? Spring cleaning?) Oh, and here’s the twist: both Congressman Broun and Congressman Akin are members of the House Committee on Science, Space, and Technology.
A leaked videotape revealed Romney telling wealthy donors at a fundraiser that 47 percent of people don’t pay income taxes, consider themselves victims, feel entitled to government handouts and will never take personal responsibility for their own lives. Paul Ryan shares Romney’s view of Americans, though he disagrees over the precise number, estimating 30 percent.
Pennsylvania state House Republican leader Mike Turzai said that the state’s new voter ID law, which was proposed to tackle the (virtually non-existent) voter fraud epidemic that is allegedly sweeping the nation, will “allow” Romney to win the state in November. It was like seeing the Grim Reaper with his hood off.
How do you like that, Republicans? How does it feel to be unjustly accused of such ridiculous things? How does it feel when people say that Fox News, whose slogan is “Fair and Balanced,” is really a plane with two right wings? And that President George W. Bush is a war criminal who invaded a sovereign nation in defiance of the U.N.? And that there has been a concerted effort by Republicans over the last four years to disenfranchise voters and usurp a woman’s authority over her own body and deprive the LGBT community of rights that are afforded to everybody else? How does it feel to have these completely fraudulent claims thrown around by the liberal media tha—
Oh wait.