KULTURE: Whether or not the Kardashians are worthy of fame, we give it to them.
By Antonio Serros, Staff Writer
Sure, Oreos may be more addictive than cocaine, but nothing—I mean nothing—provides that same, transcendent high that results from obsessing over America’s royal family. Kim, Kourtney, Khloé, Kendall, Kylie. Their plague of alliterated names is so deeply imbedded into our impressionable psyches that they stand, in their towering Louboutins, as a reflection of contemporary culture (or rather, Kulture).
The Kardashian’s initial breakthrough into mainstream culture can be attributed to a convenient series of events—events that have since been lost in America’s browser history. Was it the paternal infamy or Kim’s not-so-family-friendly home movie that promptly laid the foundation for the expanding empire of concealer-eyed, big-bottomed empresses?
Kris Jenner saw an opportunity within tabloid talk that ignited a flame the menopausal, mother-of-many simply could not extinguish. After quickly securing a deal with E! Network, the Kardashian family was well on its way to cultural iconography.
Without a second thought, Kris Jenner gave up her cherished title of Mommy Dearest for the Chanel and Hermès purchases that awaited her American Express Black Card’s touch. Thus Madame Jenner came to run America’s most in-vogue brothel. Kim, Kourtney, Khloe, Kendall and Kylie’s lives were sold to sate the world’s perverted pleasures.
The end to all privacy began on October 14, 2007, with the premiere episode of the kult klassic Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Now starring in her eighth season, Kris’ most valued asset—excuse me, daughter—has risen to a level of infamy so high that not even Miley Cyrus with her bloodshot eyes can attain. From her infinitesimal marriage, to t.v. spin-offs with Kourtney and Khloé, to the Kardashian Beauty and Kollection, the whole world is centered around the voluminous derriere of one Ms. Kim Kardashian. But with an estimated net worth of $40 million, is there really room to be critical?
Aside from thinking it would be funny if “people” was spelled as “peepole,” there is an underlying intelligence to Kim’s every action. Let’s give credit where credit is due. Whereas Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan faded away into the coked-out oblivion of LA’s seediest clubs, Kim manages to stay at the forefront of even Anna Wintour’s cynical mind. Whether it be a meet-and-greet for Sears’ Kardashian Kollection or a visit to a children’s hospital with fiancé Kanye, Kim works as a coy businesswoman, perpetuating her family’s fame . And while she may not have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, the abundant opulence that Kim has acquired for her family (largely through Kris’ exploitation) should suffice.
Imagine owning not one, but two Range Rovers—one in white and the other a in chic matte black—at the age of sixteen. Imagine being able to jump into a pool in Greece in a five-thousand-and-something-dollar Emilio Pucci dress as if it were a dish rag. Imagine skipping class, not to stay home with Netflix, but to take a private jet to New York. Feels nice, doesn’t it?
There is an overwhelming allure to the affluence of the Kardashians that captivates us. But that’s not all that we find captivating. There’s something more. Something more…tragic.
When we see the running mascara threaten to destroy the otherwise perfect contours of Khloé’s makeup or the face Kim makes when she cries—Oh, that face, we all know it! —we feel a strange attraction to the tragedy of their lives. We’re all guilty of slowing our cars down to glance out the windows at the crashed car, engulfed in flames. The Kardashian family is that flaming car wreck.
Innate in human nature is a fascination with all things devastating. We crave tragedy—the very tragedy that is guilty of making us all long-term investors in the Kardashian’s highly lucrative business. And unfortunately, we love and crave tragedy just as much the autumnal pumpkin spice latte.
Bringing up their name with a group of friends or buying that magazine just to see how Kim actually lost all that baby weight mirrors our proactivity as eager investors. These actions, in turn, strengthen an empire even nineteenth-century Britain would feel threatened by. It is this inherent human interest that bolstered the family to the top of today’s talk. While wars rage on and people are deprived of basic human amenities, all we can focus on is why on earth Kim and Kanye chose to name their child “North.”
How is it then, that this family considered famous for being famous manages to remain perpetually relevant?
Simply because it can. And because we allow it to be.
Photo courtesy of www.kardashiantapes.com