• Sat. Dec 28th, 2024

The Official Student Paper of Riverside Poly High School

False iDols

Sep 27, 2013

APPLE: Following the disappointing release of new iPhones, better options become a necessity.

By Antonio Serros, Staff Writer

As the air begins to bite at our rosy-red cheeks and the leaves begin their annual change of color, so does Apple, revealing the new iPhone 5S and iPhone 5C. The color, however, is the only immediately visible change.

The cultural holiday commenced on September 10 as a jubilant Philip W. Schiller (Senior Vice President of Worldwide Marketing at Apple) unveiled the cost-friendly, colorful iPhone 5C and the luxurious iPhone 5S that comes in silver, slate and gold.

Sure, there’s the new thumbprint technology, chic colors and A7 processor; but where are features like a larger screen or even the basic amenity of Adobe Flash that would put Apple on par with the rampant success of other smartphone manufacturers such as Android and Google?

These features simply do not exist. Or rather, they don’t exist yet as far as high-up Apple executives like Schiller are concerned . . .

There is a method to Schiller’s charismatic smile and cunning delays: planned obsolescence is the name of the game. A game that Apple has perfected to a T (Or should I say to a fault?). At this point Apple executives are probably better at this than Tiger Woods is at golfing or we are at breathing, because to Apple, planned obsolescence is breathing.

The atrocity of planned obsolescence occurs when a product is designed with a limited lifetime so it becomes yesterday’s news after a predetermined period of time. To put this into perspective: how often do you see a person with an iPhone 3G? Isn’t the mere thought of someone possessing such a dinosaur repugnant enough to make you gag? Unfortunately, Apple has wrapped the icy cold grip of its alabaster, minimalistic packaging around your throat and you are now just being dragged along.

At this point, all of Apple’s devout followers are becoming quite blasé about their “new” products. From the era of the iPhone 3GS to the 4, the only truly notable feature was a flash – something even my first flip phone boasted. Then, at the dawn of the iPhone 5 empire, Apple decided to shrink the charging port, giving birth to the lightning port and forcing their little minions to scamper to their closest Apple retailer to buy the necessary adapter for their iEverything. Coincidence?

Even I can recall the ecstasy I felt holding my generation one iPad as if it were my own child. I can also recall the overwhelming grievance I felt when Apple killed my precious baby with the release of the second generation iPad less than a year later. It had a camera! If only my child had a camera.

What is so amusing about Apple’s coy use of planned obsolescence is that my iPad still works – camera or no camera, Siri or no Siri.

Finally Moses has come down from Mt. Sinai to relay the news that Apple is nothing but a golden calf – with Moses as Dutch designer Dave Hakkens, and as for the Ten Commandments, well, let’s call them “Phonebloks.”

Initially introduced through YouTube, this concept became an instant viral sensation. In the concise three minute clip, Hakkens explains that most phones are immediately declared obsolete as soon as a newer version comes out, when really only one part of the hardware requires replacement. Hakkens then goes on to describe that Phonebloks is a simple, solid base to which detachable blocks of hardware (like the camera, processing chip and battery) are attached. He even offers up the revolutionary idea that the phone can be customized in any which way. Au revoir, Apple.

So, before you run to buy the newest iPhone make sure its not Apple’s restrictive, itchy turtleneck that you cozy up into. Take the time to look through the closet of smartphones and pick a timeless piece that won’t be unfashionable come next fall.

Apple’s iPhone may face far more problems than its measly, eight-megapixel camera allows it to see. If Apple wants to retain its media monopoly, it should change its tactics, because some games get old fast.

Translate »